Hi Lovies,
Quick update, I finally manifested myself in the HR Industry. I started the new year on a new career journey. Somebody in my office thought it was a great idea to offer me a job in Human Resources. Don’t get me wrong; I am not saying It was a bad idea but It probably wasn’t the wisest. I am laughing, internally, as I write this because It’s probably the best professional decision I have made at the start of the year. Well, let’s be hopeful and keep our fingers crossed.
Naturally, I would have taken to this new role like fish to water. You know there is nothing as terrible as joining a new department and new career without prior knowledge especially when restructuring is underway in the organization. You are just praying you don’t fuck shit up because you don’t know what you are doing. At this point, I am honestly just winging it. Using 30% of my MBA degree, 60% common sense, and 10% prayers.
Anyways, back to my soul-confusing question because as I said, I have no idea what I am doing. I don’t think there is one career move I have made that aligns with my educational background but somehow there has always been a line connecting all of my career choices. I have just built my professional career based on what I enjoy doing. I honestly would be bored if it were any other way. Trust me!
The last six months in Human Resources have been a rollercoaster ride and I mean it in all its chaos and craziness. We are currently rebuilding our HR department so, a lot is going on with barely enough time in the day to do all the things that need to be done. The best part is, I am part of an amazing team of wonderful people that make the work not seem too much sometimes. I am so grateful for that.
Work is not the only thing whooping my butt, my emotions are. I am making realizations every day that I thought I had already realized but it turns out I haven’t. Ok, that was a doozy. What I am trying to say is, I am at war with the part of myself that likes to run away when things get difficult or it seems like they might get difficult. I take my happiness to the extreme because I don’t like to put myself in situations that stress me when I think they shouldn’t.
Although, I have come to recognize that It’s just me trying to take the easy way out. I think life is already a constant struggle why should my life or time on earth be more stressful if I can avoid it? At the same time, I have also realized that maybe taking the easy way out is not a bad thing. What if that’s the right action to take? It’s all so confusing. I am constantly fighting with myself every day which means my emotions are all over the place. I am honestly not the best at hiding my emotions. It shows on my face, in my voice, and, in my body language.
This is a part of my self-growth journey I never expected. I thought I had figured it out to a degree. I thought I knew what to expect but when it comes to your emotions, you rarely get what you expect. You end up recalibrating because that’s life. It never goes the way you anticipate. I mean, sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t, and other times, it’s just absolute chaos.
What keeps you in something you think you should not be in, is whether it is worth it. How do you know if it is worth it if you don’t stick through the tough times? This is easier said than done, to be honest. I mean, I made a rather tough decision at the start of July that I constantly pray was not the biggest mistake I have ever made.
I realize that I still have some growing up to do and It doesn’t feel good when that smacks you in the face but the first step is to acknowledge it. I acknowledge that fear was one of the most significant factors in my decision. Courage is something we take for granted and I realize that because I didn’t understand how much of my decision came from fear until I had taken the steps and couldn’t stop.
They say, you have to risk big to win big but I honestly don’t know if I believe in that. After all, I am not a gambling woman especially when it comes to my emotions but you just have to believe that it is all worth it. Sigh.
Adulthood is a lot of things and easy is NOT one of them.
Until next time
XOXO…
DivaInDenims&Sneakers 